


The Height of Amusement

by SolarMorrigan



Category: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012), Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - Seth Grahame-Smith
Genre: Established Relationship, Height Differences, M/M, author has probably misused Google, this is just more silliness really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:22:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28111602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolarMorrigan/pseuds/SolarMorrigan
Summary: ...is about 5'7"(In which the world has, on average, gotten taller since the 1800s, and this causes minor inconveniences.)
Relationships: Abraham Lincoln/Henry Sturges
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	The Height of Amusement

**Author's Note:**

> Was this what SGS had in mind when he continually described Henry as being of "average height"? I doubt it! Is that stopping me? No.
> 
> But look, he describes Henry as "average height" when Abe first meets him in the early 1800s, during a time when the average height for American men was about 5'7". (He also describes him as average height in current time, so he probably means more like 5'9" or 5'10", but I'm taking the ambiguity and I'm running with it)

Abe had always been tall.

During his lifetime, he’d towered over most people by several inches. Times did change, though, and in the years since Abe’s death, the average height of people all over the world had increased by at least a bit – the doing of better nutrition and fewer diseases, research said. These days, he wasn’t _ridiculously_ tall, but merely _tall_.

Henry, on the other hand, had never been tall.

Neither had he been short. He’d been considered average height when he and Abe met, roughly 5’7”, and it suited him. He carried himself with a calm self-assuredness that said he knew exactly who he was and what he was capable of—after hundreds of years, he’d better have—and he certainly blended in better than Abe did at his much more noticeable 6’4”.

The thing was, as humanity had grown, they’d resized the world around them. Abe had never minded (in fact, he quite appreciated rarely ever having to duck when it came to doorways, these days) and sometimes barely noticed, but Henry – Henry occasionally ran into difficulty. Things were just bigger these days: larger buildings, higher ceilings… taller shelves.

Abe bit his lips to stifle the smile that was threatening to form as he watched Henry stare up at the shelf in front of him with thinly veiled frustration. The topmost level was above his head and out of his line of sight, unless he backed up to get a better vantage point. After a long moment of staring, Henry reached up and patted around on the shelf, searching for the shampoo he favored when he couldn’t order it special (the brand certainly made no difference to Abe, who would wash his hair with whatever happened to be available in the shower; had he been in Henry’s position, he’d likely have just accepted whatever brand was right in front of his face), but the few left had been pushed to the back, and there would be no reaching them no matter how Henry attempted to discretely stretch.

With a scowl, Henry fell back from his toes and fully onto his feet and went back to glaring at the shelf. This never happened at the family-owned shops he and Abe tended to favor—what the world had taken to calling Mom-and-Pops—and they generally steered clear of superstores where possible, but sometimes the convenience couldn’t be beat. They _liked_ the little stores; they felt more like home, and it was easier to find old-school items there (Henry insisted they were better quality, Abe enjoyed the familiarity), but Abe couldn’t help but wonder with some amusement if the shorter shelves were also part of the appeal.

He could feel intent rolling off of Henry now, the question of whether he should bother to go find an employee or if there were few enough people around that he could just jump for it—really, he must have been feeling short-tempered if he was considering doing so at all—and so, barely even trying to smother his amusement, Abe stepped up behind Henry.

“Having trouble?” Abe asked, shuffling forward just enough that his chest was brushing against Henry’s back.

Henry leaned back to meet him without any apparent thought. “Not at all. What gave you that idea?”

“It just looked like you were struggling to reach, is all.” Abe shrugged, mirth coloring his voice.

“Well, looks can be deceiving,” Henry replied.

“Yes, of course. I must have been mistaken,” Abe agreed gravely.

Henry hummed.

He did not move.

Resting his hands on Henry’s waist, Abe drummed his fingers without any real impatience. “So,” he said after a long moment, “are you planning on getting your shampoo any time soon?”

“Maybe I’m just enjoying being close to you,” Henry suggested (this was an absolute lie; Henry had said on more than one occasion that public displays of affection were far more enjoyable in private).

“Ah,” Abe said contemplatively, hunching down slightly to fold himself around Henry, wrapping his arms around Henry’s waist and resting his chin on his shoulder. “Or maybe… you just need a boost.”

Abe tightened his arms around Henry, as if he was making ready to lift the man off the floor, and Henry’s hands flew to clutch at his elbows, gripping painfully hard. “If you lift me up in the middle of this store, I will not be held responsible for my actions,” he hissed, fingers digging into Abe’s arms.

Abe finally gave in and collapsed into laughter, muffling his chuckles in Henry’s shoulder, making no move to release the man despite suffering an elbow to the ribs.

“Yes, fine, my _slight_ difficulty with the unreasonably high shelving is _hilarious_ ,” Henry grumbled. “Will you just grab the damn shampoo?”

In response, Abe leaned up, still snickering, and reached right over Henry’s head to retrieve one of the bottles of shampoo at the back of the shelf. He presented the bottle to Henry and snuck in one quick kiss on the cheek before pulling away.

“Seems like a perfectly reasonable height to me.”

Henry scoffed. “ _Obnoxiously_ high.”

“No need to be rude.” Abe cocked a challenging eyebrow at him, still grinning. “It’s not my fault humans are getting taller, but you aren’t.”

Rolling his eyes, Henry turned toward the end of the aisle, final item acquired and the cash registers in mind. “I might just blame you, anyway,” he muttered.

Abe only laughed, catching up beside Henry and putting an affectionate arm around his shoulders. Henry didn’t attempt to shrug him off and Abe didn’t push his luck by trying to pull him closer.

“Damn the shelves then,” Abe decided. “You’re just the perfect size, anyway.”

Henry let out a huff of laughter, both derisive and amused. “The perfect size for what, exactly?” he dared Abe.

It was Abe’s turn to roll his eyes. “Many things,” he murmured in return.

Henry smirked. “I hope you know flattery will get you nowhere,” he replied, though as he drifted a little closer to Abe as he said this, Abe was inclined to disagree.

**Author's Note:**

> No, 5'7" is not short, but it's _shorter than average_ and that's all I need. Also, I'm pretty sure if you're a few inches over six feet, everyone seems short to you...
> 
> Always happy to yell with people on [Tumblr](https://solarmorrigan.tumblr.com/), if that's your thing


End file.
